Inyour Eyes.

In your eyes,
i burn.
I get doused.

I see the cheerfulness of the sun.
I feel the coldness of the evening wind.

In your gaze,
i see a garden of roses,
strewn with thorns.

I pause.
I whiten.
I blush.
........too soon for love.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

Poem

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Guzzi Avatar
December 16, 2008 at 12:35 PM
Hi K? I see you do use fewer words than I do. The fewer words you use the greater the importance if every word. Question? Why the small "i" in some lines & the "I" on others. As to "Father?" I see your point regarding ending at the 4th stanza. My point was not only did I seldom see him coming home but the last line. "But, the father whom I sought did nothing but retreat." So, if I shortened it I'd have to rework it so that point got across. Poem aboveLine three "I drown" Line 10 "I blanch."
Wiggins Avatar
December 15, 2008 at 5:31 PM
Nice...*Breana
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