Integrated For Your Approval

That ADHD got me judged unfavourably, impulsive interactions, easily distracted, attention bouncing behaviour unique to me, the odd one out and always told different people, same old... self conscious suffering from a lack of control, humiliation on the regular, bad feedback on the whole. Every decision of mine made aware of, self worth in decline, others know the way I’m stood spare lost, inferior by design Following leaders who decide what they like, submissive through need not judged wrong or right, Go with the flow and fall into line ignoring my life Accustomed to others wants more important than mine Meeting demands would please and get thanks, the responsibility wasn’t on me and not my plan, Hiding in the herd safe unnoticed, my blanket, thinking for me, nope that idea vanished With age people see stature and status, competitiveness shows us our places And I follow the leader not to be hated, But I must play now or be manipulated Avoiding confrontation unless necessary Some act aggressive never stressing me, be submissive like a b**** is just let it be, but I’m impulsive so I react aggressively I will follow subtle leaders for praise acceptance is what motivates but be expecting of me and see rage, My position is one that I dictate Life is easy if I please, horrid if I lead, Judgement worn weak, nothing to me, put downs received, not bothered really fake approval as a slave, all of it weak The impact good or bad is just an opinion, win people over behave for their pleasing, others go against, upstage, ego feeding, Both approaches give nothing I’m needing I don’t rebel or adapt to play the game The comparison of people for selfish gain I won’t follow leaders pulling the chain These mind game evaluations are so lame My value is my happiness win or lose, why you value approval leaves me confused why you control others think it’s skill not abuse Importance of social acceptance, I simply refuse!