instructions for calling me

Call me spoiled, call me late for a date, call me casual or smirky or crazy But do not call me sloth-like, sluggish, disengaged, placid or lazy. Call me from Mexico, Canada, China, France or another fine place. Call me from Venus, Mars, or a meteorite from outer space. Just don’t call me from Kansas City, for it is where I live. I already know every relative of Clyde, Celander and Viv. Don’t call me from these two area codes - 816 and 913, They are all Kansas City numbers, and would much annoy me. Call me happy, joyful, enthusiastic, wild and carefree. Never call me stupid or to dine on a persnickety tea. Don’t call me at two or three a.m. that would irritate me. And never never never call me from area codes 816 and 913.