Insomniac's Bedtime Prayer

I wait for 5 am in the flickering dusk, Before the daylight is even relieved. The last time I slept with someone beside, I lay waiting for her to leave. For me, things are no longer as they seem; The minute I made it, I abandoned the dream. I reach For what makes me something you wouldn’t believe. I told her she could leave her keys In the door when she left. I told her promises weren’t meant to be kept. That the sacred should be ravaged and laughed at in death. I told her she could wring out all of the nights when she slept, In my arms as I wept— I drove into my skin until everything was bled. In a superfluous world, I have found nothing yet. I am damaged beyond what anyone can see; She said that she could only blame me. I told her my life wasn’t meant to be complete, That there is a wound from which all meaning had seeped. I would pray that my soul was mine to keep, Had I not died already, Waiting for sleep.