I'M Not a Victim

It starts in a basement age 4. Then a bedroom age 15. A doorway while blacked out age 16. My boyfriend made me when I was 19. I was drunk and heartbroken at age 20. I was saved by the man who did the same to my best friend, also age 20. Still, I am not a victim. I am a survivor. I make jokes to hide the pain. I don't want to seem weak. But I am so close to the edge. I can see myself jumping, but I don't. I can't let the things that happened to me define me. I am not my rapes. I am not my sexual assaults. I am me.