If You'Re Out There

God, if you’re out there, Why is it that I spend my nights, Drenched in sweat under candlelight, Layered under tattered fleece, Searching for a single deprive, Of the horrors that lie behind, My shattered and fleeting mind. God, if you where there for us as you say, Why is it that day by day, I’m taught to obey, The word of a being that Never stays By my side when I need him most. Your word has robbed me of my will, Killed my passion and instilled, Prayers and rituals, That claim to heal the mentally ill, Tell them that someone is there for them. Someone cares. Someone listens, someone hears their cries, Screamed into empty nights, Of bitter hatred and lies, Of a being that listens. That there’s a plan for them. A purpose, a meaning behind the nothingness. A way they can rid themselves of guilt, Provide them a way to confess to their wrongs. God, you’ve let this world descend, Into the hell you claim to protect us against. Demons that lie waiting for the end, Telling us they’re our friends, But robbing us of our freedom just as you have done to us. God, the demons were us all along. The demons walk amongst us, In the depths of hell, earth, and the heavens above. The demons are us. Are you. You, you’re the one who instilled hatred, Into a sacred book of outdated Lessons that our generations took to face, And put into place Despite the harm it creates. You’re the reason a child could fear, Their parents will hear Something that should bring cheer, And yet may cause them to be abandoned, All because they may be *****. Just as you had done to us. Just as you have left us. God, if you’re out there, You have failed the human race. All you gave us were half hearted morals, And the ability to hate. You sent us your son, A single man expected to undo what has been done, To right your wrongs, Fix your mistakes, And yet that’s all you’ve ever done. And when he failed, You gave up. That’s why, God, I have given up on you.