If You Only Knew
You ask if I love you & I always reply the same my answer don't change
But you never believe me & forever wanna leave me, on the inside eating me up like cancer done came
For you I've turned on my own not concerned bout home, risked it all just to get you
And Issue after issue I continue to sit through
Praying that reality hit you because I can't get through
I love you to death, you don't understand what I be willing to do
I know your past hurt but when you drink & dwell on it, it be killing me too
In my mind I feel we just wasting time, no different from lovers & friends
I can't change what happened before me but in the same sense don't feel I should have to suffer for them
And that's what it is because you make me compete with your past, it's like I gotta fix they mistakes
See you shifted the weight but never found forgiveness so you never lifted the hate
Still I fight though, telling myself over and over it's just a cycle which in time I can manage & seize
But you despiteful, it's like you blame it on Michael, make me question how much I can take because in trying to fix you I'm damaging me
If just once you could see through my eyes & see what I go through
Watching as they push & pull you fighting to control you
Than I could finally show you
You at war with yourself, it's you against you, but you ain't got a clue
Not only are you acting a fool but now you acting phoney too
Treat me like I ain't done enough or don't care when my word is honest & true
Quick to pull the victim card, back drinking again gone off that Witches Brew, In a state of mind where I can't get to you
Everyday you got me fighting you for you
When in reality this relationship is a relation of 2 slowing turning into me separating from you
You ever stop & think if you put down your drink & took a step back maybe what good it would do
And acknowledge the fact that this stuff gets old & I'm ready to fold, I see my Armor starting to crack & feel my heart turning black, matter of fact if I'm to be true it ain't only you because I've been feeling lonely too....
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