If Its Just a Game

My head drops with shame, Shoulders can't bare the weight. If its just a game, Why then does the loss feel so great. I drop a tear for every mistake, My heart bleeds with every breath that I take. If its just a game, Why then do I feel like changing my name? Perhaps its how I lost, Not what I lost. Maybe I didn't fight hard enough, Maybe I wasn't strong enough. Maybe I gave up easily, Maybe this fight wasn't for me, Maybe this is how it was meant to be, Maybe God is testing me. Maybe I'm going insane, But how else can I this feeling explain? Why do I struggle to catch my breath, Why do I keep embracing the thought of death? Why do I feel so much pain, IF IT IS ONLY JUST A GAME