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I Would, But Not Now

I would, but not now
My teeth sinking slowly into my tongue so I don’t scream at the baby
Milk all over the table, papers, dripping down onto the chair
I could, but I won’t

Screaming into the pillow until needles prick at my throat
My nap interrupted feels like heroine being snatched away from an addict that is 
ready to shoot up
Blood rushing through my veins and pulsing behind my eyes, pressure building
Needy child hands pulling at my last shreds of sanity
I can’t, but I do anyway

Where is it for God’s sake, I just put it down? The phone is ringing again, and 
again
Warm hands in the dark test the waters of my failed libido
I can’t, but wish I could

Why don’t you get a part-time job, take some classes, join a group, start an 
exercise routine?
Swirling murky thoughts just out of reach inside my corpse of a head
I would, but not now.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2006




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