I Wish I Weren'T a Turtle

I WISH I WEREN’T A TURTLE by JOHN M. ARRIBAS I wish I weren’t a turtle, I’d rather be a hare I beat him every time, but no one seems to care I carry this armor plate every where I go Designs on them are worthless, its just for show But I’m just a plain ole turtle, not a clever terrapin I stay distant from the water cause, folks, I can’t swim I stick to terra firma where my claws get a good grab I wish I could propel sideways, like my ole pal the crab I might be slow and some say totally pragmatic If I get to my destination, I am completely ecstatic I’ve got some kin; that are never ever outsmarted Go far out to sea then return to where they started You may have heard of them, Loggerhead, Leatherback Hawksbill, Green. They are mariners seldom seen And for those of you that don’t know didley Let me introduce you to the Olive Ridley They cruise at will through the seven seas While I stumble constantly into forest debris As you can see my family members travel far Yet, I’m lucky crossing the street, avoiding a car And I have a plethora of enemies as well I’d have been eaten long ago, if not for this shell I’m most vulnerable during the mating season Rivals try to upend me to claim the warm one So that’s how it goes, each day is the previous Winter will soon be here, I’ve got to get serious I’ll comb the swampy areas for some real soft mud I’ll bury myself and hope spring won’t bring a flood I’ll shut down all my systems, I won’t even breathe Til the sun the warms me, I’ll constantly utter a prayer That when I awake I’ve been transformed into a hare Humbuggery