I Wish I Could Remember

I Wish I Could Remember I wish i could remember what my life was like before. Before all the fear. Before all the broken promises, the heartache and the tears. I wish i could remember when i use to feel elated. The whole world was in front of me, anything was possible and joy would burst from my heart with more power and light than the sun. I wish i could remember when my mind wouldn't come undone-so easily. Like unrolling twine from a ball. It doesn't take much effort, just a gentle tug and the whole thing falls. I wish i could remember when the sun warmed my skin and the rays didn't cause cancer or blind my eyes to where i can't see, on a clear day. I wish i could remember when i thought i knew what to say so i'd say it and i didn't care about being judged because my heart was true and without doubt. Now it feels like no one's listening, even when i shout. I wish i could remember when creating was easy, And loving was pleasing, And imagination was a tool we all utilized in order to build our passion, And we talked about ideas, instead of the latest fashion. I wish i could remember when this molasses wasn't pouring through my veins, mixing with my blood and coating my insides, slowing me down. I wish i could remember when i could move freely and i could think clearly. When i loved you all dearly without insecurity, And everything we said had truth compelled by honesty. I wish i could remember when simply sharing our feelings or point of view wouldn't hurt others because we were not trying to hurt each other for being different because we were all different and once upon a time, we found beauty in that. Now we converse with meaningless chit chat. Even though i can't remember, i know that this was real. I don't remember the details, but i remember how i did feel.