Derek Chos | + Follow Poet |
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I Will Carry On

When we were younger
Our hearts and hands had melded
And brightened up a world

Then in winter, came snowstorms
And lightning, to burn up our shelter
A dragon roaring proud

So we were dashed, were broken
A nasty scar formed upon the exit
And bleeds unto this day

Long after it was funny
Here I am still singing like we're together
It's nearly been three years

Now when we were younger
I felt just as strongly as I do now
That my love was the right choice

So you lash out, you slander
You're winning, or showing me the best
Do you feel like we do?

A cold bucket of water
Snaps me from my reverie
A long and pleasant dream comes to an end

My heart repeats its pounding
From nasty anxiety
It's like you never left this room at all

And through it all
Our rise and fall
We both think that we're correct
Or maybe we're just both projecting bright

To say you're wrong
Or say I'm wrong
Our love's curdled to anger
These effigies to what went wrong
It's all gone wrong
To you, I'm dead and gone and
To me, it's filled with longing

I can't really remember
What it was like long ago
This pounding in my chest feels like a dream

A living nightmare I once
Called my reality
A true return to form from years ago

It takes me back
And paints it black
And turns these fields to swamp
And any love I had has gone to rot

It's all gone wrong
The world is wrong
Such purity and lifelight
Has curdled into something wrong
This all feels wrong
It's been so very long and
Anxiety is strong and

You're showing the world the best
That you possibly can
Such is the way all of our old haunts work

So does it bother me when
I can only see that lie?
And fail to see foundations I once saw?

You're just presenting anger
Aimed to kill or maim
I don't think you really care which happens

You've only ever compared
Those you ever loved to those
Villains that you said tried to do you wrong

So what's the deal?
What do you feel?
Was anything for real?
Will you wreak this havoc upon the new guy?

What did it mean?
Was it a dream?
All those things we left behind
In order to witness another dawn?

To carry on
We'll carry on
Under penalty of perjury
I swear to you I'll carry on
I'll carry on
Even if these dreams haunt me forever
I swear to all, I'll carry on.

Copyright © Derek Chos | Year Posted 2019

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