I, Who Am Nothing
I drink too much
to get your images out of my head
but with no such luck
so i kept drinking instead
and with dread
I'd wake up with no recollection
but still your memory comes
in quite a large collection
I make the selection
to dance my pain away
but still your voices in my head chooses to stay
you had my heart on layaway
because all you men did was skid me
to the point where even I got rid of me
and I pray and I pray and I fight and I fight
with my demons who come at me like seamen
from a rapist I met one night
from lovers who lied
from all negativity
from myself who I once knew
now looking in my mirror with nothing but a fake smile and disgrace
after awhile I don't know my own face
Used and used till my abusers were through
so here I stand
bottle in hand
stumbling
crumbling inside
We'll all die yes..
but some of us already dead
hiding and crying
in a bed that we made
out of anger and self hate
but whose to say how I deal
I once but a meal for people to just feast
now I'm chilling in the tummies of beasts who have ate me.
but from them I conquered now and then
I still do it with a bottle in hand.
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