Home » Poems » Johneta Ohler » I just wanted Five Minutes

I just wanted Five Minutes

I just wanted five minutes.

Six hours on my feet,
smiling when I didn’t feel like smiling,
moving when my body already felt heavy.

Instead of homebound, 
I found myself in the grocery store...

Bright lights, crowded aisles,
a cart that wouldn’t steer straight.
Holding up the checkout line
because my card refused to work.

Nothing terrible.
Just little things.

But sometimes little things
feel like the world
pressing down
a little too hard.

The drive home.
Not in silence.
Conversation to carry,
words to give
when all I had left
was exhaustion.

I pulled into the driveway
and sat there for a moment.

I just wanted five minutes.

Five minutes in the car.

Five minutes to breathe.

Five minutes before opening the door
to the life that needed me again.

But the baby was already screaming.
The oldest was already making messes.
My sitter was already overwhelmed.

So the door opened
before the minutes could exist.

And the chaos rushed in.

Noise.

Questions.

Dinner to make.

Messes to clean.

Bedtimes to manage.

And somewhere between it all
a quiet thought kept repeating
like a prayer
no one could hear:

I just wanted five minutes.

Five minutes
before the stress 
turned my body to stone.

Five minutes
to sit with my own breath.

Five minutes
to remember what it feels like
to be a person
before being everything
for everyone.

I didn’t get them.

But I’m still standing
in the middle of the noise
wishing for
five small minutes
of quiet.

deepemotionsmothermy childrenspoken word

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