I Hope You Are Reading This

I keep failing you, I keep accusing you. I’m losing my mind, I’m screwing up. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I pour raw emotion into my writing, Raw emotion of how I wish we could be. I take raw emotion and let it control me. I wish I could stop the pettiness and fighting. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Every second of every day, you are on my mind. Every second of every day, I dream of the future. But then I see you without me and I get so scared, I get so angry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Actions speak louder than words spoken, And I’m showing you I haven’t changed. I let myself yell and accuse because I’m broken, I’m steadily accepting I’m mentally deranged. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, my dear. I’m trying to keep my head, But it’s so jumbled with crap. I’m perfectly okay, but then I’m not. It’s not fair to you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I say words that I never mean, I screw up any future hope. I know you’re hurting too, And I don’t know how to cope. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, And you aren’t to blame. In a madness I’m caught, Whenever I hear your name. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. If you’re reading this, I just wish you to know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t want to go.