I Hope It Dies

The thought of me that came into your mind, It grew; It blossomed; You thwarted it; Hopefully you are letting it wilt and die. I do not want to ignite old flames. I want to believe your words were true; After all you said them, But my mind acts as if it has a mind of its own. It's been months but still it will not hear the end of it. These feelings are beginning to feel disgusting; I hope they die. I tell myself I need space; Space away from you; Honey believe me, I only believe that for a while; Then I begin to look for you; The you I know I will never find. I get glad when you don't show; When you neither call nor text; Because if you as so much turn your head I fear I might clutch onto you; So I hope this dies. Then I dream of you; You are just next to me; You talk a lot but it feels like silence; I smile at you; You peak at me once or thrice, I am reminded of our old days; When you used to care. I feel comforted at the same time I feel sadness Is this what it means to be delusional? I hope it dies I know I love you; I know I miss you; I know I yearn for you; I know I search for you; But I can no longer differentiate between your truths and your lies; I know my truth but I don't know what to do with it; So I hope it all dies