I Don'T Understand You Any Better Any More

I don’t understand you any better anymore reaching under floorboards of my father’s pickup truck lost inside imagination left with haunting resignation I don’t understand you any better anymore after spilling words clawing through the growing weeds walking backwards over needs swimming upstream in yesterday’s pea soup gone cold I don’t understand you any better anymore sights and sounds, paintings and prints long vows, short stints Phil and Oprah, Charlie Rose this and that and these and those each day ends with bloody nose I don’t understand you any better anymore tried not trying, walking out running back to your attack stealing moments peeled from bottoms deck carved or pared or shouting what the heck I don’t understand you any better anymore so easy merging two chameleons sharing light now dark, sandpaper rough surprise, the look inside each other’s eyes slips of tips of fingers we’ve forgotten I don’t understand you any better anymore walking through the door I’m gone no longer there to care for cures that kill I miss what I’m no longer longing for had my fill I don’t understand you any better anymore it doesn’t fit like it used to do un-curved limbs branching through a love no more than chance different moves to someone’s different dance leases in release of hope currents, eddies, moving through to meet the day somehow I may understand you better than I knew