Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |
Couplet | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

I Committed the Perfect Crime

My husband acted like a complete jerk
had countless affairs with women at work

He wore spray on jeans which fit so tight
and aftershave called ‘Tonight’s the night’

I knew for sure that things weren’t right
as he’d hide his cell phone from my sight

I’d opened one of his credit card bills
he’d purchased boxes of Viagra pills!

Guess he used them with that busty floozy
the office temp, I think her name’s Suzie

One thing’s for certain, I have learned
hell hath no fury like a woman spurned

So I carefully plotted to get my revenge
and lure him in a ice tunnel at Stonehenge

Ice stalactites hung low from the ceiling
a brisk blow to his head left him reeling
 
With a stiletto sharp icicle I pierced his chest 
as the ice melted, I knew there’d be no arrest

As there’s no evidence left to incriminate me
Yes, I’d got away with his murder … scot-free!

It was the perfect crime I’d expertly planned
I'm sure any scorned woman would understand!


N/a  in Murder in the Tunnel Poetry Contest judged  2/12/21

Submitted to NA Poem From a February 2021  - Poetry Contest


Sponsored by Constance La France



01/26/21

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2021

Please Login to post a comment

Paula Goldsmith Date: 3/18/2021 4:16:00 PM Congratulation on your win. Oh no, did you just confess????? A wonderful story/write. Have a blessed day............. Login to Reply

Sam Kauffman Date: 3/18/2021 10:41:00 AM Remind me not to go into ice caves with you Jan! I-c your plan so well devised! Congrats and kudos on your most creative plot, plan and win! hugs - Sam Login to Reply

Lindsay Laurie Date: 1/29/2021 3:14:00 PM Hello Jan … the law might tell you that you’ve got a lot to answer for but I reckon your scheme is brilliant - thank you Jan - Lindsay Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/29/2021 4:52:00 PM lol shhh dont let on my secret lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Jack Horne Date: 1/28/2021 12:58:00 PM LOL, I can picture all this so clearly - hubby better'd behave Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/29/2021 4:51:00 PM lol Jack:-)hugs jan xx

Rico Leffanta Date: 1/27/2021 10:58:00 AM Well done, Jan, and your illustration is the icing on the cake! I expected Kim would follow-up on her Nails on Chalkboard poem, but you were firstest with the mostest! Aloha! Rico Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:42:00 PM I had such fun going to the dark side, glad you like the pic I thought it was perfect for the poem:-) hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer Date: 1/27/2021 10:37:00 AM wonderfully told, jan! best of luck in the contest... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:40:00 PM Thanks Ilene:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 1/27/2021 7:26:00 AM - An ice cold planned murder ... a revenge murder, Jan :) - Skillfully written ... I work a bit with this contest ... I'll see where it takes me :) - Best wishes in the contest :) - hugs / / Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:39:00 PM Thanks Anne-Lise this was such fun to write:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May Date: 1/27/2021 5:01:00 AM Wow, a great story Jan, best wishes in the contest.. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:39:00 PM Thanks so much Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx

Victor Buhagiar Date: 1/27/2021 3:43:00 AM Could be the perfect crime, though with the technology of today, it's a bit hard. ~~ Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:38:00 PM Thanks Victor:-) hugs jan xx

Unseeking Seeker Date: 1/27/2021 1:27:00 AM Hahahaha! A perfect crime, indeed! Enjoyed! Good luck for the contest! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:38:00 PM thanks Seeker:-) Hugs jan x

Mystic Rose Rose Date: 1/26/2021 6:32:00 PM OMG, you kill me stiletto or not, this one's the best Jan . Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:37:00 PM thanks Vienna:-) hugs jan xx

Akkina Downing Date: 1/26/2021 6:16:00 PM Jan, my heart is been feeling down these past few days, but tonight visiting you just made me laugh out loud reading your lovely and humor poem. Thank you :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:37:00 PM aww Akkina so glad i made you smile, I was so glad to go over to the dark side for this one lol:-) not sure what Kai will think of it though!:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 1/26/2021 6:10:00 PM Jan, Sherlock Holmes himself + 10 Watsons couldn't solve this one. ~ Ice-Cold Pops Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/27/2021 2:36:00 PM lol thanks GW:-) hugs jan xx

Beryl Edmonds Date: 1/26/2021 3:30:00 PM Brilliant Jan, such a sharp wit you have. You’ve created the perfect crime with no fear of doing time. Artfully carried out, loved it. Hugs Belle :-) xx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/26/2021 3:43:00 PM The idea came from an online friend , it was such fun to base the poem on their idea:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 1/26/2021 3:10:00 PM WoW! Jan, You penned a good entry for the contest. You came up with the perfect plot to get away scot-free. A good contender for the contest. Best wishes for the contest. Well done:-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/26/2021 3:41:00 PM It was such fun to venture to the dark side lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood Date: 1/26/2021 2:59:00 PM Hi lovely Jan. have I told you how much I admire your poetry skills, your sharp wit, verbal dexterity and subtle undertones. One can only gaze in awe at... Jan... Jan... put the icicle down, Jan........ Love it Jan... I’m outa here.... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/26/2021 3:40:00 PM ha ha ha thanks Terry:-) hugs Jan xx

Jenna Logan Date: 1/26/2021 1:51:00 PM Totally awesome write, and he had it coming. That's a good plan, Jan...no evidence. I'll be sure to stay on your good side. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/26/2021 1:56:00 PM Aww thanks Jenna, an on line friend made a comment yesterday about the perfect crime and killing with an icicle so I said I'd write a poem around the idea and started it last night and was amazed to see kai's contest. it really was fun to cross over to the dark side for a change lol:-) hugs jan xx