I Am Who I Am

I am who I am Were you to ask where I’m from my past my tale my next of kin the answer lies in who tells my narrative my twist what kind of spin My autobiography is quickly shown in who I am will be in time past present future blend in context and contingency overt and sublime No doubt the product of genes and socialisation is rather pertinent thus mixing and mingling draws frameworks but is also quite reticent German ancestry Lower Saxon and East Prussian born after the War struggling with Genocide Holocaust trans-generational down to my core Grew up in Hamburg somewhat lonely understood by not many but few too young in my school year a class clown a rebel a critic because I knew Teachers could not reject or downgrade me since I got full marks in exams so I carved out my niche opposed authority of Messieurs and Mesdames A late child of the Student Revolution an exchange to California ensued where hot love struck me like balm on my wounds with Gigi from Peru After graduation I rejected being supported by my father and joined the Army to gain independence yet the method to gain freedom now seems very barmy Could not leave the Forces despite pretty vigorous conscientious objection did my best to help others as a medical doctor in humanistic inception My duties brought me to Wales by the Irish Sea with five children and marriage country medic and farm house guiding my kids and then nuptial miscarriage Depression struck no light at the end of the tunnel just darkness and void too much drink downcast in my mental wheel chair and almost destroyed Went to rehab in South Africa for treatment where God-incidence came where I met my wife best friend lover soulmate who had suffered the same Now I sit in the sun in South Africa stopped medicine write story and poem reinvent my life some inner child stuff self-actualisation and certainly growing New awareness novel perspectives pacifism philosophy and many questions but the knowledge that kindness love and compassion are more than suggestions My most intimate companion apart from my gorgeous wife is depression both showed me my path journey and meaning my own life’s repossession So few words about where I come from who I am will become and will be so if you wish to explore more of my roots and my future please read my poetry