I Am Not a Victim

I had a dream the other night Of walking in a field of cornbread Golden brown Baked just right One solid Unbroken field As I softly crunched my way I looked up Coming toward me Was a line of tigers With a man in the middle No one was tethered Just walking together Enjoying the day There was no fear No predator No prey I woke up laughing This was so silly! I went to the Fair today And during a break I asked if anyone Could interpret my dream They came up with Corn bread = The South And perfectly baked gold = Coming into riches; Or at least, no money worries The tigers = Strength; overcoming fears Hunh! As I thought about it, I remembered a childhood dream/nightmare When I went to bed angry A big tiger showed up I would point to everyone who had angered me He looked at them and proceeded to eat them up At the end, With everyone dead, He turned and looked at me That’s when I woke up And a true story (or from this side of dreaming): A friend and I went to an outdoor zoo Somewhere south of Kalamazoo We stood on a wooden walkway Looking at an open field through a thick glass window In the stone wall We spotted several tigers Later, as I walked a trail to the next exhibit I looked up to see a tiger Strolling through the tall grasses toward me A mere thin wire fence Separated us I gulped and walked steadily onward As I left the area I could feel his thoughts: “Ha! I freaked out another one!” Tiger humor As one grows and hopefully gains wisdom One learns to handle fear FDR stated during the Great Depression, “The only thing we have to fear, is Fear itself” Recently I’ve been angry About my ex-husband’s condition He is slowly and bumpily improving from a near fatal stroke My/our son flew to help And I’ve been without him since Spring They are in the South Corn bread was a staple in our family Many things around the house have broken And wait to be repaired by said son He says that every time he thinks about returning home His dad suffers a setback After months of “I’ll be home in two weeks…” I gave up Got the garage door repaired And am making do with things I cannot fix The working garage door makes all the difference I finally have access to rakes, the lawn mower And snow shovels The car has a safe haven from the weather And I feel calm Turns out I could afford the door - With only one person’s groceries Money lasts longer than it did God keeps telling me that I will be OK Financially and otherwise; It’s up to me to lighten up To let Fear walk away Without licking another notch in his paw I am not a victim