Hurt and Pain

Crushed, crippled, torn and shredded
No longer knowing where life is headed
Ripped apart with a heart of stone
Not used to feeling so alone

Fake it to make it, put on an act
Try to make up for what the relationship lacked
Without them then I’m nothing, dead, gone
No longer able to see the sun that shone

The blackness is massive and all consuming
The craved end, the release, death is looming
Long to get out, to escape, to desist
To float my soul on a thickening mist

My family and friends, the people I know
Didn’t realise because my feelings don’t show
The people that care, didn’t matter to me
Because my hurt and my heartbreak was all I could see

A glimmer, a glint, a pinpoint of light
But I choose not to let it be in my sight
Determined to wallow, to let myself die
To finish my days having cried myself dry

The light is persistent and continues to grow
A friend with a torch or family with glow?
I look through a window and see the day break
And feel all the emotion beginning to wake

I keep the light dimmed, keep it at bay
But I don’t really want to go right away
Maybe if I focus and keep it near
It might contain voices that I try to hear

To tell me there’s something that’s worth fighting for
That this isn’t the end, that they promise there’s more
I’m not ready yet for those voices to shout
But at least I know when I am, they’ll come out

Because those voices care about me every day
And to sit by the side and wait is their way
For when I am ready and I know I can call
And there’ll be there to catch me as I know I will fall

So for now I will hurt and give myself time
Because the choice to recover is only mine
But when I do, as I know that I must
Those voices are ones that I know I can trust.

Copyright © Shelley Murray-Foreman | Year Posted 2013

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