How To Kill a Bear

Kill it with kindness Sing to it in Swedish Make it watch vacation slides Whisper grizzly things in its ear Feed it processed honey Let it die of obesity Call it honey or dear Give it a ticket to Detroit Bore it to death Teach it how to watch corn grow Place it on the sofa next to you Make it watch the Price Is Right Give it a loaded gun Let nature take its course (When it is gone) Stuff it....with potato chips Mount the head on the wall Lay the fur on the floor Call it a rug Repeat the process Go into the forest Hunt for more