How Do I Understand This

Say the word, watch me die, flirt with malice, confusion lies, misunderstand, my bleeding heart, sit in silence, torn apart, my tears that fall, you'll never see, these scars and nightmares, have come to be, I missed you then, I miss you now, you left me here, to wonder how, how can you love him? how can you put him before youself? how can you suffer needlessly, your happiness gathering dust on a forgotten shelf? how do I understand this?