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His Only Solution

HER LOVE WAS UNTOLD HER HEART WAITING TO BE LOVED GREW RUSTY AND OLD SHE SAT EVERY NIGHT CRYING IN HER MISERY HOPING WHEN THIS MAN WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR SHE WOULD NOT HAVE TO WORRY SOON HE WILL ARRIVE ALL SHE IS THINKING ABOUT THIS TIME IS WILL SHE SURVIVE HE THEN ARRIVES LOOKING INSANE SO PLAYS WITH HER SO SHE FEELS HIS PAIN CHILDREN IN THE NEXT ROOM HEARING THE NOISE OF BREAKING GLASS AND TRUST KNOWING WHEN THEIR MOM GOT MARIIED ALL SHE WAS FEELING WAS LUST HE YELLS AT THEM TO SHUT UP THEY DO NOT LISTEN SO NOT LISTENING TO HIS COMMAND HE DEMONSTARTES HIS ANGER WITH HIS HAND SOON EVERYONE IS QUIET AND HE STANDS THERE IN GUILT KNOWING WHAT HE ONCE HAD CAN NOT BE REBUILT HE TAKES THE GUN AND LOOKAS AT THE TRIGGER TRYS TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM BUT MAKES OURS BIGGER

Copyright © | Year Posted 2005




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Date: 8/30/2008 12:23:00 AM
that was intense. I like the way you put it all in caps, it grabs the attention but you should try dynamics, downplaying the smaller parts and explode the emotion with the capitalization.
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Book: Shattered Sighs