Heart on Lockdown
I didn't notice what we were doing 'till it was too late. My heart was on lockdown mode, yeah I was naive back then and my heart didn't notice until you admitted that your hand was shaking while we were on call. I was reading you my poems about you, about us, about whatever this is and you had the nerve to say that they were good, nothing else, and didn't want to admit to what we were doing. Looking back on it now, I'm replaying the moments when you were literally waving all the red flags in front of my face but I didn't notice because I see life through a different lens but only when I'm with you. Maybe I should just take the filter off of this version of you that's in my head, the one I thought was the real you, but the real you only cares about your cowboy hat and your chevy truck. Nothing else, especially not me. I should've known better to trust you. My friends who barely know you warned me not to trust you. Did I listen? No, because I didn't care back then. But now I do. Now I know the real you.
And now my heart isn't on lockdown anymore. Now when you look at me during class, my heart doesn't skip a beat, signaling to my brain that this is over. Finally.
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