Haiku 71

Haiku 71
	
	betrayal... 
	the trust of a friend
	my poor judgment

friendhaiku

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Roberthenry Poulin

August 18, 2013 at 1:14 PM

betrayal is a wonderful Senryu. Your simple statement word gets us ready for 2 and 3 and says how you feel about a friend who threw you under the bus with a betrayal. And the 3rd line is the little surprise. It is all good juxtaposition. Your use for numbering your haiku makes it cold. The rule, if rules are good or bad, is that the first line always gives the haiku its title. Just a suggestion, and it is easy to find the poem again. Robert Henry Poulin

Jack Jordan

August 18, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Thanks for the advice. I know very little about Senryu, but I'll be sure to find out. I agree about numbering, but the haiku I see in the journals and online typically don't have titles. You're correct; it is difficult to find a particular haiku with numbers for titles... jack

Poet Destroyer A

August 16, 2013 at 10:31 AM

Jack, i don't think I have friends out here. I don't have poor judgment on peeps. However, in the past I made mistakes by trusting peeps who later betrayed our friendship... lesson learned... thanks for the soup mail...Linda

Jack Jordan

August 16, 2013 at 1:04 PM

You're welcome... jack