Haiku 71

Haiku 71 betrayal... the trust of a friend my poor judgment

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Roberthenry Poulin

Date: 8/18/2013 1:14:00 PM

betrayal is a wonderful Senryu. Your simple statement word gets us ready for 2 and 3 and says how you feel about a friend who threw you under the bus with a betrayal. And the 3rd line is the little surprise. It is all good juxtaposition. Your use for numbering your haiku makes it cold. The rule, if rules are good or bad, is that the first line always gives the haiku its title. Just a suggestion, and it is easy to find the poem again. Robert Henry Poulin

Jack Jordan
Date: 8/18/2013 3:31:00 PM

Thanks for the advice. I know very little about Senryu, but I'll be sure to find out. I agree about numbering, but the haiku I see in the journals and online typically don't have titles. You're correct; it is difficult to find a particular haiku with numbers for titles... jack

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 8/16/2013 10:31:00 AM

Jack, i don't think I have friends out here. I don't have poor judgment on peeps. However, in the past I made mistakes by trusting peeps who later betrayed our friendship... lesson learned... thanks for the soup mail...Linda

Jack Jordan
Date: 8/16/2013 1:04:00 PM

You're welcome... jack

Poet Tacito

Date: 8/2/2013 2:50:00 PM

If I had a nickel...thank you for this, Jack. I get this one wholly.