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Haiku 68

Haiku 68 storms raging breached levees of sanity lives swept away rain-swollen river lost in swirling darkness madness in their eyes receding waters absent, some forgotten voids where they once were my awakened heart

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 7/20/2013 2:33:00 PM
glad to see you felt the same about this.
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Jack Jordan
Date: 7/20/2013 3:23:00 PM
There was a growing consensus, so I deleted it. Again, thanks for your opinion, both you and Richard... Jack
Date: 7/19/2013 7:11:00 AM
I'm with Andrea I also prefer this poem, kinda the less is more concept. Both are good but this one forces the mind to dig where the other one leaves the diamonds on top of the ground and robs the reader of the wonder of discovery.
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Date: 7/19/2013 1:27:00 AM
something about the format I guess, makes me like this one best.
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Jack Jordan
Date: 7/19/2013 7:29:00 AM
I agree... Thanks for the critique. Writing two versions was an experiment, and I learned a lot from doing so... Jack
Date: 7/18/2013 1:53:00 PM
- Super !!! - Well done Jack. - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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Jack Jordan
Date: 7/18/2013 1:55:00 PM
Thanks, as always... Jack
Date: 7/18/2013 1:49:00 PM
Beautifu & powerful in its tides.
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Jack Jordan
Date: 7/18/2013 1:54:00 PM
Thanks, Drake. I'm glad you liked the water metaphor... Jack

Book: Shattered Sighs