Haiku

Man in a black hat He’s angry; his life bores him Sleet begins to fall

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 8/16/2013 5:51:00 PM

here's your first soup Haiku,.. great imagery, and ending action. :-) :-)...Linda

Jack Jordan
Date: 8/16/2013 6:11:00 PM

Thanks. I hope I've learned something about haiku since this one. Lots of folks have been kind enough to advise me along the way... Jack

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 7/26/2013 10:38:00 AM

[he sputters red faced/ as him dons his hat and leaves -- sleet falls] try to SHOW anger not tell us he is angry, see? Light & Love [also stick to showing one thing show him bored OR angry LIght & Love

Jack Jordan
Date: 7/26/2013 10:49:00 AM

Yes, I see what you mean. Thanks as always... Jack

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 7/26/2013 10:39:00 AM

even doning the hat & the second action leaving is a bit too much stick to 1 action, and 1 subject it's just safer

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/6/2013 10:34:00 PM

:-) enjoying your Featured Poem of the week. take care and have yourself a great coming week. xox~ LINDA"

Jack Jordan
Date: 7/7/2013 6:25:00 AM

Thanks, Linda. The week will be one of recovery from weeks of travel, but that's not so bad. A fine week to you too... Jack

Karen Anglesey

Date: 7/4/2013 2:45:00 PM

Jack, your compositions are brilliant. Love this . Congrats to finding it on the Featured Poem of the Week :)

Jack Jordan
Date: 7/4/2013 5:39:00 PM

Thanks, Karen. I really appreciate the comment... Jack

Skat A

Date: 7/4/2013 10:22:00 AM

JACK, Congratulations on your Featured Poem of the week. have a nice 4th of July. *SKAT