Haiku

Man in a black hat He’s angry; his life bores him Sleet begins to fall

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Poet Destroyer A

Date: 8/16/2013 5:51:00 PM

here's your first soup Haiku,.. great imagery, and ending action. :-) :-)...Linda

Jack Jordan
Date: 8/16/2013 6:11:00 PM

Thanks. I hope I've learned something about haiku since this one. Lots of folks have been kind enough to advise me along the way... Jack

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 7/26/2013 10:38:00 AM

[he sputters red faced/ as him dons his hat and leaves -- sleet falls] try to SHOW anger not tell us he is angry, see? Light & Love [also stick to showing one thing show him bored OR angry LIght & Love

Jack Jordan
Date: 7/26/2013 10:49:00 AM

Yes, I see what you mean. Thanks as always... Jack

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 7/26/2013 10:39:00 AM

even doning the hat & the second action leaving is a bit too much stick to 1 action, and 1 subject it's just safer

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/6/2013 10:34:00 PM

:-) enjoying your Featured Poem of the week. take care and have yourself a great coming week. xox~ LINDA"

Jack Jordan
Date: 7/7/2013 6:25:00 AM

Thanks, Linda. The week will be one of recovery from weeks of travel, but that's not so bad. A fine week to you too... Jack

Karen Anglesey

Date: 7/4/2013 2:45:00 PM

Jack, your compositions are brilliant. Love this . Congrats to finding it on the Featured Poem of the Week :)

Jack Jordan
Date: 7/4/2013 5:39:00 PM

Thanks, Karen. I really appreciate the comment... Jack

Skat A

Date: 7/4/2013 10:22:00 AM

JACK, Congratulations on your Featured Poem of the week. have a nice 4th of July. *SKAT