Notes About The Poem

Andrea Dietrich had made a marvelous suggestion that some of my haiku (the plural for haiku is haiku – must be a Japanese thing!) might be better presented as a tanka.  Below is a haiku – how I would attempt it and then again using a tanka approach.  I don’t know which one I like better . . . if you are so inclined . . . let me know your thoughts.

All the best and live generously.

Haiku 19 Barn Life

Haiku Form

                                              hay, manure, cows
                                         a low long bellow --  ancient
                                      birthing call,  s w o o s h . . . life

                                                      

                                                   Tanka Form

                                         barn filled with hay, cows
                                    moist heat, the smell of manure 
                                     wet nose, brown eyes --- time
                                        a hard bellow, the birth cry
                                     final push . . . s w o o s h, miracle


dedicated to Mary Jo, you rock country girl!

David Meade
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Bangalee Avatar
November 27, 2018 at 4:16 AM
Great writing - one theme in two forms of poetry- beautifully written
Meade Avatar
November 27, 2018 at 8:46 AM
Thank-you kind sir -- will be back at you!! All the best, live generously!
Chakrabarty Avatar
January 18, 2015 at 10:45 AM
You can do miracles with short forms. Same thing in haiku and tanka effect is different.Love>>>rajat
Johnson-Saunders Avatar
November 28, 2014 at 11:30 AM
You have mastered these short forms. You have all the elements of a traditional haiku - seasonal, nature, a snapshot in time. I really love it and the tanka adds to the scene...I'm trying to work on a monuku for Rick's contest...not coming yet. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving with lots of snow angels. The closest I get to snow is the poems. Hugs, Rhonda
Yvonne Avatar
November 24, 2014 at 3:06 PM
My feeling is that you write great poems, haiku, tanka or free verse, doen't matter much to me what you call them as long as keep writing them. Fav.
Callus Avatar
November 9, 2014 at 3:14 PM
Both are good and swooshy! ..but I can see that the tanka gave your more space for elaboration. // The dedication was a perfect merited choice! // paul
Dietrich Avatar
November 6, 2014 at 11:24 PM
hey, two for one. NEAT idea, and I enjoyed the read.
Anish Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 7:00 PM
I can see you are a big fan of this Asian form. I once published a couple in Postcard Collector. Thanks a lot for your kind words about my holiday and my haiku. Peace &Love Matthew Anish
Meade Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 9:11 PM
Thank-you my friend -- I look forward to reading more of your works. All the best.
Kendrick Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 9:43 AM
I think I like the Tanka form better..You choice though for you are the author...Way to go..Thanks for the visits to my page..Sara
Meade Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 10:08 PM
I think the Tanka did allow for more atmosphere surrounding the birth -- it was fun writing both! Thanks for visiting the barn!!
Mcdaid Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 8:27 AM
very beautifully crafted piece david excellent pen
Meade Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 10:09 PM
Spending summers on the farm did give me an education!! Thanks for visiting, you are a good friend.
Arrow Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 8:16 AM
I love both haiku and tanka.When I find some time I read more of them.Excellent David !
Meade Avatar
November 5, 2014 at 10:10 PM
It was fun doing both side by side . . . thank-you for your kind visit. All the best.
Allison Avatar
November 4, 2014 at 12:47 PM
I love both forms you have penned David and Mary Jo is such a lovely country girl to dedicate them to:-) Hugs Jan xx
Meade Avatar
November 4, 2014 at 9:27 PM
Thanks Jan, she is a card. All the best.
Trifiatis Avatar
November 4, 2014 at 10:25 AM
No better person to dedicate such a fine verse, David!
Meade Avatar
November 4, 2014 at 9:31 PM
She is a gem and you kind sir, are a generous gentleman!!
Petersen Potter Avatar
November 4, 2014 at 10:09 AM
Very beautiful dedication to Mary Jo, David! Truly enjoyed it! Cheers! :) Xxxx D.
Meade Avatar
November 4, 2014 at 9:32 PM
Thank-you Ms. Potter -- you are a faithful friend. Enjoyed your poems today. All the best.
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