Noel Flater Poet Rhyme

Going Down Under

Going Down Under!

Toes step, from dry to wet sand 
Foot sinks, bathes in waves 
Whoosh, waves splash ankles to toes
Cold, cool water, how far should I go?

Waves pulls back, pulls sand into sea
Feet step, from wet to wetter sand
Feet sink, deeper in still
Cold, cool water, how far should I go?

Whoosh, waves splash ankles to knees
Waves deciding, I’m getting wetter
Whoosh, waves splash, knees to belly
Knees jelly, with my jelly belly

Whoosh, waves crash, belly to chest
Waves deciding, I’m falling backwards
Whoosh, waves smash, above me,
Falling, crawling, Going Down Under!

Noels_Art

Comments: Sometimes the water’s cold.  FEEDBACK WELCOME.

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J Hamilton Gist April 20, 2019 at 4:25 PM I can see the words in thought...nice. Noel Flater April 21, 2019 at 10:50 AM Thanks J Hamilton, I'll follow you, take a look at your good stuff. Noel from NoelsArt

Connie Marcum Wong March 7, 2019 at 5:52 PM Excellent Noel. Undertow can sweep a person out to sea before they are aware. : ) Noel Flater March 19, 2019 at 6:09 PM Connie, thanks for your feedback. Let's stay aware and not get swept away! Noel from NoelsArt

Andrea Dietrich February 28, 2019 at 7:25 PM this is REALLY good, Noel. I just gave a fave to someone's romantic poem but for originality, this is my second Fave of the evening. That is me feedback!! Noel Flater March 1, 2019 at 5:06 AM Andrea, keep fav-ing, you make people happy. NoelsArt

Panagiota Romios February 23, 2019 at 7:52 PM Noel! Well done... I have not been in sand and water for quite a while. You had me reliving the pleasure. Great fun Thank you Panagiota Noel Flater February 24, 2019 at 6:27 AM Panagiota, I'm happy to take you back to where you might be going again! NoelsArt

Caren Krutsinger February 22, 2019 at 5:50 AM I like the quick snappiness of this one, it made it easy to read, and fun. I felt like I was the one going under. Noel Flater February 22, 2019 at 6:44 AM Thanks Caren, I had difficulty with last stanza, write, rewrite,write, rewrite... Sometimes you just have to end it.