Glitches in Stitches

My laptop hiccuped twice last night.
Then sneezed a cloud of snot and phlegm.
The cursor did a moonwalk, a back-flip.
Then crashed in cyber fake delirium.

The printer printed hieroglyphs.
The toaster broadcast a fax.
My smartwatch went completely feral,
Demanding better bigger data packs.

Glitches in stitches, twitches, and itches,
Pixels doing flip-flop, digital switches.
Bugs in the plugs and chips in the ditches—
I’m laughing in stitches, at all the glitches.

My blender gained self-awareness.
It screamed and shrieked with binary leaks.
Liquefying my breakfast oats
Over the ceiling and my new wallpaper.

The traffic lights blinked green,
Then yellow, red, and blue between.
While sat-nav sent me confidently,
Through somebody’s washing machine.

The robot vacuum lost its mind.
Choked on socks I left behind.
It circled like a hungry Mako,
Then swallowed my baguette.

I tried to patch the glitches.
Reboot the brute, twitched machine.
But breakers tripped and circuits sparked,
While wicked wild widgets twitched so mean,
As chaos reigned supreme, in the neon sheen.

Glitches in stitches, twitches, and itches,
Rich little hitches in Silicon's britches.
They're all to blame, despite their fame,
Laughing aloud at my glitches in stitches.

computerinternetlyric

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