Getting a Wife

Getting a Wife...... When I was just a stripling lad My Father said to me Get yourself a wife my boy And here’s how she must be Sufficient mouth to sweetly smile But not enough to nag Sufficient breast to fill your hand But not enough to sag Two hands to do the washing up And bring you pots of ale As you sit lordly on your throne Because you are the male Brains enough to understand The wisdom of your ways But not enough to question them And clutter up your days A body plump but firm and full And good to look at too So you can show her off all day As she belongs to you A wife, a nurse, a mother sweet All rolled up into one A mistress, whore and lover too So you can have your fun If you can find a girl like this You’re a very lucky lad I fear she’ll be too much for you So bring her home to dad