Emily Pascale | + Follow Poet |
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Future

Walking forward but still in the same place.

Moving quickly but still stuck in a small space.


Success seems so close but something I never taste.

Time continues but all efforts go to waste.


Reaching for goals in this strenuous race.

Going on hopelessly in this never ending chase.


Moving faster trying desperately to pick up the pace.

The monotony of struggle slapping me in the face.


Thinking of my future but all I see is a lost case.

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Kevin Clark Date: 6/11/2013 6:44:00 PM Very well done. Login to Reply Emily Pascale Date: 6/11/2013 8:46:00 PM Thank u!

Poet Tacito Date: 6/10/2013 2:23:00 PM I enjoyed this rhyme flow here. It was direct, even though it showed a lot of concern & uncertainty, and full of wanton freedom. Very nicely done! Login to Reply Emily Pascale Date: 6/11/2013 5:58:00 PM thanks!

Gabe Shelly Date: 6/10/2013 11:38:00 AM Alright, I like the way you rhyme the end of each line (I wish they were shorter though). The feeling of futility that you're getting nowhere in life is very evident. I feel your pain. However, when you first look at your poem it looks like a paragraph, and I'm not sure if I want to read it. I do anyway, and I'm glad I did. Keep up the work, but be sure to keep reading other people's poems as well. Also, remember "Brevity is the soul of wit," said the Bard (Hamlet). Login to Reply Emily Pascale Date: 6/11/2013 5:59:00 PM thank you. I wrote it on my cellphone that may be why, I did edit and add spaces in between the lines.