Full Circle - Testimonial Poetry
Full Circle. - Testimonial Poetry (Age, 29 years.)
When I graduated 7th grade, I read my speech that said I wanted more than 7 careers.
I picked all of the Jobs that "helped" not in love for myself, but of others I lived in fear.
In high school, I befriended weirdest and clung to religion, and fell into violence.
The addictions I came from rose and clung onto me, though at first they were silent.
School finished, it was judgement time.
"No I don't want to attend your prison after prison."
"You have a choice..." They smiled while refusing to see my vision.
I didn't want their certificates, I wanted the world.
"Are you SURE, Jess?" "Are you sure?"
"I'm not yours. I'm God's little girl."
Though, my Christian, religious dance school shunned me as a teacher at 17 for smoking pot, while my boyfriend harmed me behind closed doors.
My connection to my father, both physical and ethereal dwindled and became poor.
I left the spirit realm and looked for divinity in everything, other than where I came from.
No God, just me and each man who listened, which made me feel strong.
"Pop this Pill, drink this Drink with me, you're too pretty to be out here alone."
I lost all connection and put myself on the throne.
While I hunted for my provider, I blurred myself and consumed.
Studied and philosophised and learned to go down the rabbit hole.
Epstein was the surface and front, there are trafficking tunnels in my home town, children dead and protected by authority, refused to be exhumed.
Microplastic, crop poisons, vaccinations and in media, all that was satanic.
I spoke to deities, met my ancestors and remote viewed my own life, to the point of insanity.
I watched my form float away into bubbles on psychedelics, after flying into the Colombo bombings at 22.
DMT, LSD, MDMA, man I loved some shrooms.
I kept working, like a good little citizen, taking calls at different desks and asking big questions in every room...
We can't change, we can't go deeper, Jess."
That drink couldn't come fast enough, or anytime too soon.
I rage quit the world, 25 and pregnant. No home, 2 dogs, a folder of applications and a library of experience.
I'd painted my daughter in a picture, not after she was conceived, but before.
I was realising and validating that I was so much more.
Jess the Dance Teacher suddenly became insulting...
All that I am now willing to explore brings me abundance, though left me financially faulting.
Jess the dance teacher still worked at the call centres, drinking beers with the guys 15 years older who groomed me, at lunch.
The Oracle, The Healer, didn't flinch at every punch.
Until my ego got the kick, humbled again and again.
God sent me endless ing lessons, disguised as friends.
Escorts, self appointed Shamans, Mormon Mossionaries and addicts of crack.
I knew my life was in full colour, no longer in white and black.
Jesus, he'd have sat with them. The worst and the most brainwashed.
I'd been overseas 5 times by this point and across our country named AUS.
I'd lost religion, found Spirituality, asked every Uber and delivery driver why their family illegally immigrated in 1873.
Cmon divinity, what are you teaching me?
I was assaulted as a new mum and the missionaries left me.
Jesus was always present but never how I was taught by man. I still didn't understand.
He filled the throne next to me, and I tirelessly pushed him off for flesh.
Even the religious ones told me, I couldn't just love him in my chest.
The Wounded Spiritual ones told me he and the entities couldn't have met...
They hadn't been to Egypt with me, they hadn't actively sat with the broken...
God lead me to understand that we are all just on a journey, though my childhood had been stolen.
By the systems, religion, lack of health literacy and mass agendas...
You wouldn't catch me dead walking my daughter into the school I was sent too.
Why be angry? Blame everyone? I've started again enough times.
I love being a beginner, I'm Safe in change and the new.
The old ways caged me and wounded new age Spirituality left me harmed and with friends a few.
Nothing was invalid, I'm now my own best friend.
I never cared about views and don't give a about what needs to end.
1/2/26
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