Deirdre Omaidin Poet Narrative

Fatal Valentine

He rose
She watched
He paused
She gazed
He twitched
She sighed
He packed
She froze
He waited
She turned
He glanced
She shivered
He moved
She whispered
He paced
She sobbed
He freaked
She called
He frowned
She pleaded
He kissed
She wept
He turned
She knew
He left

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Wilma Neels January 21, 2011 at 4:29 AM This is quite a riveting and sad write Deidre ;) Wilma

Richard Pickett December 31, 2009 at 11:36 AM Very nice Deirdre, Lovely indeed. Go into your personal info click the box I want to receive Soup mail...and you should be able to receive....Great write....Taz

Ashlee Tilford October 2, 2009 at 9:22 AM Great piece. Written with such passion. Love it.

Not Anymore March 10, 2009 at 11:16 AM You wrote I read You waited I smiled You read I wrote: That was awesome

Carolyn Devonshire February 14, 2009 at 8:50 AM Dear Dierdre, this poem beautifully tells such a sad story. I hope "he" has been replaced by someone more worthy of such a talented, sensitive woman.

Monique Davis February 8, 2009 at 2:12 PM That was artistically written and captured my attention every step of the way. I felt like I was watching this couple change their life play by play. Beautiful- Monique

Debbie Guzzi February 8, 2009 at 12:11 PM wowser!!!!! I thought one of them was going to shoot the other oneLOL good write. Light & LOve Debbie

Sandy Schermerhorn February 7, 2009 at 10:41 AM rivioting piece of poetry here with this great write so sad but excellectly written

Brian Strand February 7, 2009 at 7:27 AM well writtrn vignette Deirdre.Style suits the pace very well.rgds Brian & thanks for your welcom comments

Kristin Baker February 6, 2009 at 6:25 PM Great poem...sad but so true for some unfortunately. Hope your valentine's day is better then this! Kristin

Maryam Jameela Haniff February 6, 2009 at 1:44 PM oooh my! not a happy valentine, so sry for them...if they r real...sweet write!...*/*Maryam

Sean Kelly February 6, 2009 at 12:33 PM So , that bear hug , did'nt work !! .. Deirdre this is a superb piece of story telling , in a most unique way ... Excellent !!! ..

Michael Degenhardt February 6, 2009 at 11:52 AM Oh my, that's horrible! Not the poem, style or writing mind you, but the happening, what occured for the two of them. That's not a way to spend a Valentine. Michael