Agatha Jetaime Poet Lyric

Fall Apart

I desperately want to fall apart
Yet something keeps me going
And the role of a martyring heart
Is not something I wanted knowing.

To me you opened up infinity of topics,
The bowl of pleasure you filled up.
I didn't want to but turned out to be myopic
And fail to explain what's in my cup.

Pure sensations of both a soar and a loss,
I fell into this long and dear dream.
The settlement is due when I wake up, my boss
Is yet again my heart, that's what I mean.

Self identity, anxiety, fairy tales,
Regret, creativity, content, euphoria of being,
You are undoubtedly the best of males!
Self worth and peace within for the time being.

Accepting me for what I am is priceless
Yet why without you it's oh so hard?
I know the power of my mind is limitless
Yet oftentimes I feel as if a retard.

I want to walk the street of life
With loving self, content and passion.
So why the dark? The damp? And knife
Of pain is choking me? My skin is ashen.

The pain abates and then intensifies again,
It'd be so nice to cry. No tears. Thievery.
Now tell me how do I go on? "Do not depend!"
It'd be too easy. But there comes another reverie... 

Your face, your hands, your voice and skin,
They glow in my imagination.
We can't be a couple. We're too akin.
My brain and soul got inflammation.

I put back on full suit of armor.
I stand, I faint, try to fight the nausea
Perhaps it does not at all exist, this harbor...
Sweet pain. And I am left with my insomnia.

My dear torturer, if you are toxic,
I would for sure intoxicate myself again.
I'm oh so craving your sweet toxin. 
It blurs and stirs my body up with pain. 

This crazy lassitude I crave and cannot bear,
It's agonizing and therefore a bliss. 
Evolution's problems land on my shoulders with despair
I search for answers - yet another miss. 

I smear my life again with painful failures,
I ache but strive inside for burning ingle.
My needs and pain are elaborately tailored.
Yes I am absolutely mad for emotional tingle.

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Poet Destroyer A March 27, 2015 at 11:12 PM Agatha, A nice warm WELCOME to poetry soup. I hope you have fun with this wonderful community. You'll find many friendly poets who are ready to support and give positive feedback. I will enjoy following you and your poetry when you are ready :) We are Lucky To Have you. Enjoy 2015, with New Poet Friends @-> LINDA <-@

Skat A March 26, 2015 at 1:15 PM AGATHA, Stopping by with a nice, sweet Welcome to Poetry Soup. I will get much delight in reading and in time become familiar with your verse. As for now, I will greet you with the same smile others passed when I first joined the soup. Wishing you and your poetry the best. I hope you get to meet all the nice poets around here STARTING with me- SKAT :-) Please drop a hello and tell me a little about yourself if you wish. I would like to be your newest poetry soup "FRIEND" Hugs* SKAT" Agatha Jetaime March 27, 2015 at 2:30 AM Thanks, Skat. Will drop by:)

Anne-Lise Andresen March 23, 2015 at 5:22 AM - A wonderful poems and messages, with touching emotions - I welcome you to our "family" here on P- Soup, Agatha ! :) - // Anne-Lise :) Anne-Lise Andresen March 23, 2015 at 6:40 AM :) Agatha Jetaime March 23, 2015 at 6:13 AM Thank you, Anne-Lise! I used poetrysoup's syllable counter for a few weeks only then did I realize that I can post poems here as well:)