Evening Carnival

shooting stars fairground game at night lasting memory

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Heidi Sands

Date: 6/15/2025 8:30:00 AM

Well described special memory :)

Jaymee Thomas
Date: 6/19/2025 9:45:00 AM

Thanks, Heidi. I was trying something with enjambment that I don't think quite works, but I appreciate the comment.

Oliver Mckeithan

Date: 6/15/2025 1:17:00 AM

Wonderful. Sounds like it was a great night. A memory created.

Jaymee Thomas
Date: 6/19/2025 9:48:00 AM

It was a great night, Oliver. This doesn't quite capture the scope of it though--I think imma write a longer piece on it ;) Hey, thanks for reading my work and taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.

Tom Woody

Date: 6/13/2025 3:43:00 PM

The cosmos contains many wonders. Sweet haiku (non-traditional but I would expect that from JT)

Tom Woody
Date: 6/14/2025 10:25:00 AM

Not familiar I'll have to look up

Jaymee Thomas
Date: 6/14/2025 9:41:00 AM

The 5-7-5 syllabic convention? I used to write them that way until I learned about 'on' and translating English syllables into 'on'. You're right though, this one is a little off - 'shooting stars' is actually 7 'on' though only 3 syllables. It's just how I interpreted the on/morae for stars. I was trying to do something similar to the 2022 Touchstone Award Winning haiku by Joshua Eric Williams.