ENTANGLEMENT OF FEAR AND DESIRE-DHR

I step back from the threshold~                                I step toward the threshold~  
the air too sharp with possibility,                              the air electric with possibility,  
my pulse seizing into stillness,                                  my pulse spilling into motion,
the moment dark with foreboding,                           the moment bright with inspiration.

I thwart the pull inside me,                                        I pursue the pull inside me,  
its force a trembling signal,                                       its force a rising hunger,  
each thought braced for danger,                               each thought bending toward want,  
the mind obliterates its edges,                                  the mind honing its edges.

I fear the fire forming in my soul,                               I ache for the fire forming in my soul
its heat poised to fracture my architecture,               its heat opening the door I was taught to avoid.
a blaze that could destroy me,                                   a blaze that could re-sculpt me,
the self adhering to its limits,                                     the self ripping through its limits.

I brace against the developing storm,                        I lean into the developing storm,
its force threatening my boundaries,                         its force inviting my undoing,
its pressure testing every limit I know,                       its pressure breaking every limit I know,
its surge testing the truth I cling to,                           its surge revealing the truth I long for.

I retreat because fear steadies me,                             I advance because desire steadies me,  
because safety is a learned instinct,                           because longing is a lived instinct.

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