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Enough

Enough


I laid in a camper; the place I lived after;
she forced me to leave, and took the keys.

I figured it was another outburst,
till I heard a knock on the camper door.
It was a couple of smug cops,
with a restraining order.

I couldn’t go home, I couldn’t call;
my kids were gone, that was all.
I was stunned, and confused,
I knew I was wrong, but what was this?

Another knock on the door,
it was the same sneaky cops,
with a divorce decree. They
went around the block, 
playing games with me,

It was done, my family was gone,
and I deserved it all; I was the one,
who had destroyed it all, and I wanted to die.
I wanted to die.

I was powerless as the system,
crushed me under its boots.
Just a man on his own, Just
a man guilty as charged,
just a man dead to everyone.

Betrayed by all. The guilty one.
The one who deserves death,
for not obeying the rules.
For being a bad husband, 
a bad man, a waste of breath.

I never saw her again,
I never saw the kids again.
I was unforgiven of sin.
I never felt alive, again.
Just a liar, a hater, a violent man.

But one day, after years, I awoke. 
Because  He spoke.
I stood up, and forgave everyone;
even the Lord, and I began to heal.

I’ve had enough. 20 years enough.
I’ve paid enough. I’ve lost enough.
A thousand times I’m sorry.
I’ve longed for enough.
I’ve died enough. 
I’ve bled and prayed enough.
I’ve been accused enough.
I’ve answered questions enough.
I’ve done it all, over and over enough.
Enough is enough.
And it shall be no more!

God forgives me, and that’s enough.
I won’t answer for it any more, 
I’ve answered enough.
I don’t care anymore.
I’ve cared enough.

You can have it all,
I lost, I failed, I sinned,
and I can’t fix it anymore.
I have fixed enough.

Are you going to forgive me,
like Christ did when He said 
“It is enough”?
When He wailed “It is finished”?
I’m done. I’m spent. I can’t care anymore.

I am healing. I am loved, and being loved.
God is with me, and restored me.
The sun is shining and I smile.
Everything He gives me is enough.
Everyday is enough.

My new life, and my new wife:
are enough.
I love you all.
Is that enough?

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