Laura Breidenthal Poet Rhyme

Endearing Obsession

My heavy heart ever sighs for you
A syrupy silent smile, awaiting every move
Eyes nomadic, setting like a sunset on the edge of mars
Gazing… as if to focus on the rarest star

There is a sweetness that I crave to taste 
A wild, foreign but trusting terrain
Feverish fingertips padding gently on rippling arms
Stroking the soft ancient bark of driving charms 

Cape Horn’s stormy seas await our return
Crash your mind on my lands so lost, so burned
As flames lick my tear-blemished blood
The hot winds of fervor rattle my bones to mud

Keep your eyes set on the edge of the red dunes
Of which the mighty tempest runs free from doom
Into the lungs of pending exhalation,
You rest ever upon my endearing obsession

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Timothy Hicks April 4, 2016 at 2:09 AM Wow, super visual as well as sensual. With many feelings to digest. I like the way you perceive yourself ... somewhere out in space, the Red Planet. You know Mars was the Roman God of war and is where "martial arts" comes from ... fitting for one who is poetically at war with herself. "Feverish fingertips padding gently on rippling arms" ... gives the goosies just reading it. I give you props for creating such an imaginative piece in what is pretty short by your standards. The title drew me.

Gary Bateman October 5, 2014 at 8:04 AM Laura, I forgot to mention that I've mark this fine work of yours as a "Favorite." Again -- a most enchanting write indeed. Cheers, Gary Laura Breidenthal October 5, 2014 at 6:30 PM Gary, thank you!!! I appreciate your review on this poem. Glad that you appreciated the alliteration of the composition as well as the use of imagery. I find a lot of passion and intensity in your work, so this is a great compliment from you. ~Laura

Gary Bateman October 5, 2014 at 8:01 AM Laura, A most exceptional write!! The intensity, the passion, the images, the emotions, and the alliteration you employ throughout the narrative captivate the reader (this reader included). "Endearing Obsession," for me, projects both a magical and mystical. One line that really sticks in my mind is: "The hot winds of fervor rattle my bones to mud." A most passionate image indeed. This is the kind of poem, for me, that I like to read over and over for the sheer enjoyment of it. Cheers!! Gary

David William Breidenthal October 3, 2014 at 8:44 PM This is a marvelously made poem. (: I enjoyed it from the bottom of my heart. This is your shorter entries, but it's to-the-point and raw with waves of emotions. It was passionately driven and very surreal imagery. Great job! -DWB Laura Breidenthal October 5, 2014 at 6:26 PM Heehee, thanks Davey. Surreal imagery excites me greatly! Glad it excited you too ~Laura

Richard Lamoureux October 3, 2014 at 8:57 AM Passionate and visually stunning. You have painted a picture upon my minds eye. Laura Breidenthal October 5, 2014 at 6:25 PM Passionate is where I was going with it. Thank you very much for reading my work. ~Laura

Casarah Nance October 3, 2014 at 6:52 AM Images unique and enjoyable to read, so very descriptive! well said ;) Laura Breidenthal October 5, 2014 at 6:24 PM Thanks Casarah. Glad it was enjoyable!! ~Laura

Justin Bordner October 3, 2014 at 2:30 AM Continued...this Masterpiece just juggles my senses, I see strange vistas, robust love, volatile veneration, sensational intimacy, " Stroking the ancient bark of driving charms...Flames lick my tear blemished blood..." I will survive on this amazing Art of ardor forever. This poem is so alive, like your wild heart Laura...Justin FAVORITE Laura Breidenthal October 5, 2014 at 6:23 PM You always know how to make me smile, Justin. And thank you for reading this piece. I must admit, I am not the greatest when it comes to writing more romantic poems; Laura Breidenthal October 5, 2014 at 6:23 PM continued..I find myself more expressive in the darker pieces. I know I implemented some melancholic elements in this particular piece, yet still I often have a hard time expressing desires... hm.. I think I am growing though, and your comment is very encouraging. Thanks. Reading your work has actually helped me tremendously.

Justin Bordner October 3, 2014 at 2:23 AM Laura, your obsession must be divine, for your ink spreads the most cerise wine, your desire swiftest arrow. I'm in love with this poem, your spirit is so captivating...exotic, erotic melancholic, romantic, distant yet direct and in hand, in heart. You've gone to a whole new world of grace and creativity with this magnificent composition! The landscapes of love, the tastes of passion, the sands of longing, its just WOW! "Eyes nomadic, setting like a sunset on the edge of Mars..." J.A.B. Laura Breidenthal October 5, 2014 at 6:22 PM You always know how to make me smile, Justin. And thank you for reading this piece. I must admit, I am not the greatest when it comes to writing more romantic poems; I find myself more expressive in the darker pieces. I know I implemented some melancholic elements in this particular piece, yet still I often have a hard time expressing desires... hm.. I think I am growing though, and your comment is very encouraging. Thanks.