Duct Tape, Balin' Wire and Super Glue

I must admit that I ain't very handy with hammer and nails, And am hopelessly at sea when figurin' technical details. As to fixin' things with fancy tools, I haven't a clue, But I'm a whiz at usin' duct tape, balin' wire and super glue! Tho' it's somewhat unwieldly and it sure ain't too ornate, Balin' wire can be used in an emergency as hinges for a gate! 'Tis perfect for securin' the droopin' bumper on my automobile, And for supportin' the saggin' muffler, balin' wire is ideal! No doubt you'll bond at least two fingers together, 'tis true, But, Oh! The myriad of things to be fixed with super glue! 'Tis good for repairin' artificial teeth when in a pinch, And for mendin' broken shards and earrings, 'tis a cinch! How can we ever thank the feller who invented duct tape enough! It holds the universe together! Life without it would be tough! It'll patch anything, gag a spouse, keep a man's toupee in place; Why! It was even used to repair Apollo 13 in outer space! With these marvels of the modern age I can tackle any situation, Fixin' things with simple application and heady innovation. Why should I be thwarted usin' nails, screws, staples and such, When duct tape, super glue and balin' wire are my sturdy crutch! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)