Jay Loveless Poet I do not know?

Drowned (Relasp)

Inside I'm slowly dieing 
i cant breath 
im not lying 
i sit curled into my small ball 
i hug myself and try not to hurl 
it sickens me 
myself 
the aspects of life 
that which i dont  want 
inside my mind i hide 
i rock to the beat of my quickly accelerating feet 
which tap in nervous patter 
to my heart which splatters 
blood upon the wall 
words in it i scrawl 
my little gray room 
dark in the gloom 
one little light 
a window cracked in the fight 
smeared and covered in grime 
from the pain building over time 
i refuse to cry for them 
inside it's in my head 
the overwhelming pressure
it's so hot 
why make me suffer 
its so cold
with just one blanket 
i rock and clutch to it 
rocking with the waves 
the pounding head ach wont cease
the rain that's pouring down 
wont clean the smudgy grout 
the grounds a concrete floor 
i drop the lighter more 
i want to burn it down 
burn myself to the ground 
i want to use the bed 
create a metal weapon 
i need to feel the pain 
its stops me in vain 
i look out alone 
scared to the bone
i dont deserve this peace 
this hell 
i dont want life any more 
i dont want to be called satan's spawn
Evil which caught my childish mind
he showed me special tricks
he left me so demented 
i have the hunger too 
blood helps me calm down i swear its true
inside i let it out 
i cry so hard
the rain lets down 
because they cant see
inside
where i drowned

Written In Block Two Math. Several months ago.

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Justin Bordner September 18, 2012 at 2:39 PM Brutal self therapy Jay,perhaps you can relate to my perspective of masochism - when reading this piece of frantic self exposure I think of prisons, prisons of puppetiers, of flesh gone spasmdic - metal weapons are serious contraband my friend, but only in the hands of the law - with respect - J.A.B. % Jay Loveless September 18, 2012 at 8:24 PM Yeah, I use to have it pretty bad...I lived as my own puppet once...gosh, im sure I wrote about that before..i wonder if its one of the ones that got lost before i could put it on here. god this is ages old though. I havent read it in a long time. and yes, frantic, prision, and puppets...damn, you got it down perfect.