Don'T Worry Dear, I'M Here

It began with her misplacing things…and progressed to not knowing who I was… She would wander away from home…for that is what Alzheimers does. Yet other times she knew me well, she knew where she was…and when… She was intelligent and lucid…she was my Mom again. I never knew when Alzheimers had control…or when Mom would be released… for that’s the personality of this disease…that is the nature of this beast. There were times when Mom could sense my worry…and tried to ease my fear She’d smile…a reassuring smile…and say, “Don’t worry, dear…I’m here. But Alzheimers is unrelenting…at first making small demands willing to let Mom have her moments…while patiently waiting to take command. I remember the first time she didn’t recognize me…I bowed my head to hide my tears when all of a sudden she was holding my face…”Don’t worry.” she said…”I’m here.” We had no choice but to acquiesce to her malady… to take her high days with her lows It was only after my visits were over…that I let my anger flow. And when she was lost to me forever…when in her confusion I’d see her tears I would take her face into my hands and whisper in her ear… Don’t worry, Mom…I’d say…there’s nothing for you to fear… Wherever you’ve gone to…Don’t worry, Don’t worry Mom… I’m here.