Dissociation
This numbness may be permanent…
Even though I can function, I still lament.
The times when the feelings couldn’t be kept at bay.
I could drown in the tides over and over each day.
It is as if I faced the last fall leaves.
And I can sense warmth, but there are no flowers on the trees.
I have no emotions that can be influenced.
It is as if my old feelings were like beads of sweat that have been rinsed.
Is this my own heaven?
Is this lack of sadness where I am eternally sentenced?
Except I have forgotten my own joy and family.
And it is like my brain is trying to invade my memories and make them empty.
I have nothing left to be sorry for.
And if I did- I simply don’t care as numbness pours.
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