Disintegrating

What if I lose it all? Forget who I am and Die and cry and fall. I'll be nothing but just sand, Floating and fleeting in the air, In the world Without a care. Will it numb the pain, Or it will all be in vain? Or I'll be liberated from my agonies, Like those dreamy house's balconies? Will the tears end or the tears will end me, Or they'll just turn into a vast never-ending sea? Will it abate the thundering storms That reside inside my mind, All those loud and dark forms That always keep me behind. Save me if you can or I'll be Nothing but a mere memory Lost forever as a time so free, Minor misty misery. These screams are flowing as fizzy as waves in my veins, Fostering the flowers of my excruciating pains, Poisonous purple flowers are in sunlight and basking, All the teal tears and tangerine turmoil they're masking.