Kathleen Tovar | + Follow Poet |
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Disappointing Pain

Here alone, sitting at my desk thinking "why?"
After all the things we went through, yet you still did it
Knowing the pain, anger and disappointment it would bring me
You the last person I thought, who'd do such a thing 
I knew this day would come ...but not so soon, I fear that one day I'll be a memory 
I know that your actions can't be undone, but the pain you've brought me cant be either 
You say "I'm sorry", you say "I don't know how it happened" but we clearly know how it happened
I'm sorry that things didn't go the way you planned 
That just because He was nice to you, you gave something up for that worthless scumbag
But in the end my words, my advice, and my warnings didn't get to you
In the end, you stabbed my hope, my patience's,and the one truly important thing my friendship with you
I hope that you understand that I don't hate you, and that I won't stop loving you as a friend 
But the mistake you made has wounded me far to heavily, and I ask myself again sitting at my desk "Why did you do such a stupid thing!"
Tears streaming down, crying for you 
I guess, in the end I was the pathetic one, deep down knowing this would happen 
Denying myself from the truth that was meant to happen
You won Tony, I was just a mere lonely loser who fell in the trap 
I hope your not to angry, when I start to disappear from your life, because hey, making love is something everyone has to do right?, just not screwing yourself over at a young age
As your last friend, I just wanted what was best for you, but I'm not your mother or anything
I'm just the person who was blurred out of the picture when you committed the  mistake you made that pain striking wounded right through me 
I wish the best for you and Him, because I'll be a faded highschool memory 

By: Kathleen Tovar

Copyright © Kathleen Tovar | Year Posted 2016

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