Dialyze Me

When I was diagnosed with end stage renal disease. Trust me I was not pleased. I was looking for someone to blame. I took this so serious because I knew that this was not a game. I had to change my lifestyle. For months on my face there was not that familiar smile. I let myself get depressed. Right away came stress. It is so amazing to see the blood leaving your body so quickly. I felt every organ in my body feeling so guilty. Almost every day I get so drained. Inside your body it is a appalling nagging pain. While being dialyzed. Your whole body feels so paralyzed. You are so tired you can only dream and sleep. That sleep at times is so deep. Then your body gets so bone chilling cold. All of a sudden your hands or feet cramp so bad that they cannot bend or fold. After a while on the machine you get so weak. Now after four hours I just want to go eat. As soon as I’m done I give thanks to Jesus. In Jesus name I do have faith and trust. I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa