Depression Dreams

The life of a manic depressant, swimming in anxiety and less valued than a peasant. You don't dream you nightmare, oh yeah, you dream of an alternative timeline, where you are happy and all turned out fine. Missed opportunities were not missed, you're with that dream girl you never kissed, your friends are loyal, and job prospects were never spoiled. There's a devine light in your life shining bright, it's all a delight and everything turned out alright. As you dream this dream the night turns to morning light, and slowly from your subconscious state you awaken, and the joyous elements of your dream disintegrate. The job is lost and that dream girl turns into a ghost, you're collecting benefit while she stands with her real bloke, you realise that having nothing is no joke, the nightmare starts not in your sleep but when you've awoke. You're now awake but your eyes don't open, you lay in bed and reflect on that dream, that ended so mean after showing you the things you wish your life had seen. You reluctantly realise that you are a reject, retarded at best, and how that dream ended is how the day has started, self hate fills as you lay broken hearted. You don't open your eyes, a decision you choose because the back of your eyelids offer better views. You should feel rested but you're not, it's anxiety, dread and depressed instead, the day begins with you worn out and tested, and you haven't even got dressed yet. POTD 11/6/2018