Demons Beware: New Exorcists Are Being Trained

Demons Beware: New Exorcists Being Trained By Elton Camp Evil demons will soon be on the run Training of new exorcists has begun A secret conference held in Baltimore Prepared more exorcists than before Rite of exorcism not many could do The demand is too much for so few The ceremony itself is easy enough Knowing when to use it is so tough First, the priest must know how to tell If the person’s crazy or a child of hell If it is a psychiatrist they are needing Or if a devil on their soul is feeding Some pedophile priests who boys molest May claim of demons they’re possessed “From any guilt or blame I must eschew. It was a horror that the devil made me do.” An untrained priest may make a mistake And the wrong expulsion then undertake The sight of the cross drives demon away? Or is it some garlic that won’t let him stay? Or a silver bullet, is that the weapon I need? Or is it a stake through the heart to succeed? It brings the priest a whole lot of scary alarm Lest he should come to use the wrong charm What if he drives the wicked demon away, But it jumps inside the good priest to stay? Will holy water work to drive the demon out So that the spirit will cry for mercy and shout? When enough priests have been trained to meet need The demons will lose their control with much speed “The devil made me do it” won’t work well anymore And people their own decisions will have to deplore Since recruiting new priests has come to be a chore Low pay and celibacy aren’t quite enough anymore Then a priest in black, thru the country roving about Throwing out devils will appeal to many, no doubt They will be able to stop the victim’s bed from shaking Projectile vomiting the priest will no longer be taking Even now, the evil demons must be quaking in fear The awful day of their doom is drawing ever so near.