Defeated Released

I think today I am defeated. I tried so hard. Again. The most this time.. Defeat brings with it nausea. Release, I'm not sure of. I glimpsed it for a moment. Its gone now. Gave way to a threat of Rejection from my stomach. All I have left to reject my defeat with. Like throwing the gun at the bad guy When you're out of bullets. Uninvited tears must wait In line. Single file, From here to the moon, Until I have a soft place To Fall. Must get one of those...